A Pathworker’s Blog

…a way to be with one’s inner life is the human companioning that we, you and I, are together.

Usually I am nervous about leadership roles, concerned about what will happen, about doing a good-enough job. This often manifests a defense of over-preparing.

You said that when I put words in your mouth on my blog they are not your words but rather your words as seen through my filters.

…So how do you integrate experiences like breathwork — the experience you had Saturday with Regina and Andreas?

I felt fear around the conference call. As my helper has reminded me time and again, in fear I cannot access my channel to Spirit, I get blocked and even more nervous and anxious.

Pat and I went to our fourth session of Holotropic Breathwork with Regina and Andreas in Lexington. …

…The title of my piece was Dancing the Mystery. It traced the main theme in my life, that is, my constant search for meaning, all the way back to my childhood. …

It seems I have been plagued with anxiety my entire life — “Anxiety Not Otherwise Specified” was the official diagnosis 10 years or so ago in the psychologist’s office, and I was offered meds to reduce this anxiety if I wanted. I didn’t.

On a 900-mile-drive this weekend to and from Missouri to visit relatives, Pat read to us the first few chapters of Cynthia Bourgeault’s 2010 book The Meaning of Mary Magdalene. We are both hooked on this book and look forward to finishing it.

Pat looked at me, sort of sprawled out in my chair, and said, “Look how you are so ‘at ease’ this morning.”