This blog contains reflections from my journal. I am always interested in where others are in their lives in these matters of the soul, so if you are moved to share, please do so. Simply go to the Contact page, or leave a comment at the end of any of my entries. Meanwhile, blessings on your journey.
Below are links to the ten most recent entries. To view more, use the pagination menu at the bottom of each listing page.
… seeing my cruelty, my strong self-will, my demanding narrow view of connection emphasizing sex, my “killer energy” toward you, and other negative traits in me was indeed sobering.
I realized that without Sage and Anthony present to Pat and me in these challenging and sensitive areas of our relationship I feel alone with Pat, and the image came up in me of being alone with Pat in a lion’s cage – Pat being the lion.
Writing for my Writing Group 1/18/14…So Moments Worth Remembering is the topic for our January 18th Writing group. As soon as the topic was assigned last month I started keeping track of such times.
Gary: Let’s pick up from where we left off yesterday. Pat: Yes. I said I wanted more of your Life Force present in our relationship and you spoke of the fear that comes up in you at the mere thought of bringing your Life Force, with all of its spontaneous creativity and energy, into our relationship.
The past two years made possible by my chemo have been very rich and fulfilling, years I would have missed without this chemo treatment. And the next few years seem to hold even more richness.
As I read this excerpt I could feel the chains fall away from my spiritual journey and freedom emerge. I could feel myself free to be me, free to experience life as it arises.
“Clearly Gary, your relationship with a woman is your deepest commitment in this life, your core Calling!”
For different reasons the church just didn’t work for us any more. We do not miss the “tribes” of which we were so much a part and that had defined our spiritual lives for so many years. We wonder why, but not enough to reengage.
Nothing could have been improved upon in my book. What was there not to be moved and inspired by in such an outpouring signifying the reason for the season? … And yet I had to ask myself why I was uncomfortable, anxious even, and not that inspired this year.
What has this shift been about? As I sat in meditation I noticed that I am moving away from being a seeker for answers to living the Mystery beyond the questions.