Gary's Blog

This morning Pat and I tackled the sensitive area of early times in our relationship. Beneath our attraction to each other there were times of resistance and often times of deep pain, fear, and disappointment.

How will our intimacy and spontaneity deepen? I feel so much has been shaken up in me. We do not want to fall back into old patterns – we want to stay open and let things reconfigure on their own, without forcing currents – entering the Mystery and the Unknown.

A fragile moment between Pat and me occurred on Thursday morning (July 12) while on the back deck at Beth’s home in Vermont. The modeling we practiced and experienced with Sage and Anthony the previous weekend made this possible – though still a bit risky.

“Your Tribe might not only include swans. There would likely be some water snakes with you on that lake!” We all laughed, but we got her point.

I could see that my finding myself in leadership in so many organizations may, in part, be my way of establishing my identity in society – and in a way that was apart from my true self.

I also notice that I have some distortions regarding my Tribe. Who is in my Tribe?

Per the theme of our intensive, we are open to the possibility of something beyond our experiences of connecting to date.

The morning of the third day, our final day with Sage and Anthony, was a very deep session for both Pat and me — the deepest of our time in the intensive.

During the afternoon session I got in touch with the part of me that was terrorized on the playground in grade school – not knowing how to interrelate with the other kids.

It was Sage’s and Anthony’s first chance to watch Pat and me interact – which we did, to levels deeper and riskier than our normal morning coffee times.