Gary's Blog

But if this old subtitutioary model didn’t work for me any longer, what did work? Was I just being stubborn and arrogant in resisting my old model of Christianity, or was there another way out of this double bind?

What did Jesus teach by his life and death on earth? Jesus taught us by example in living and dying how to fully dismantle the ego and overcome its attempt to find identity and meaning in a separate existence of dualistic consciousness.

This morning I awoke aware of a profound sadness, perhaps even touching depression. Immediately I saw my pattern of strongly resisting any experience of this sadness, or, heaven forbid, depression, as I do so many other negative feelings – fear, loneliness, and the like.

…my sense of the unresolved problems I brought into this incarnation to work on. The subsequent questions inquired as to how thus far in life I had chosen to address these unresolved problems, how I had come up with what turned out to be immature pseudo-solutions that in themselves now have to be unwound…

And as I do this I realize that I have but a cursory idea of what Pathwork really is! … “Gary, have you been asleep through all your Pathwork classes – as student or teacher?”

Had I contracted CML seven years ago he said I would have faced bone marrow transplants and aggressive chemo and still would not have survived more than six months in all likelihood. So “Yes, Dr. Pawson, THANK YOU!”

The joy and satisfaction that we have experienced thus far in life just seems to be evaporating, and some of us begin seeking other ways to rekindle the joy we had earlier in our life. We enter midlife.

Gary, stop clinging to a pseudo “faith,” which is no faith at all but a set of beliefs your ego or intellect thinks it needs to hold on to to be safe in the world.

What is Christianity? What does being a Christian mean? Perhaps more specifically, how does the Christianity I was taught in the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod differ from the teachings in Pathwork to which I am so drawn?

For me these writings bring up feelings of profound loneliness, isolation, fear, sadness, awe, wonder, Mystery, joy, and curiosity, to name a few. I let these waves roll over me. Waves of Life.