A Pathworker’s Blog

This discouragement was my greatest disharmony. With this I turned in my meditation to Pathwork Lecture 145

In meditation I asked myself what I was feeling right now, in this moment. Things were jumbled. I would say I felt nothing at all that I could identify.

It was awkward to share with the group of helpers her sense that I held a place of leadership and vision…

“I should not have disharmonies!” I see that I want to live in denial. Or I struggle against my disharmonies and against being “merely and utterly human.”

“I really appreciate you, not what you DO, but YOU.” These words, spoken yesterday by a dear friend, reverberated in my heart and brought light, life, joy and warmth, feelings that I could take in without pride and arrogance.

Last Friday morning (8/3) I found myself in a state of prayer. It was a new state, a felt state, a surrendered state. I did not choose this state of prayer, but it arrived, as if by Grace

As I dropped into this question I could see that in fact now, today, I would not allow myself to really connect with Sage or Anthony – or Pat – from a vulnerable heart place within my being. This awareness was at once shocking and yet so thrilling to realize.

This morning in my meditation I went back to the beginning of my emotional development, since emotional connection is what Pat and I say we are looking for. Why am I so disconnected emotionally?

But I could also feel my fear of showing up. Do I not trust the cosmos, my higher self, or my passion for the Pathwork lectures? Or perhaps I fear resistance from the Pathwork helper community.

I am helped by the Pathwork Lectures’ constant emphasis on finding and trusting inner wisdom, the Heart Wisdom, the Divine Essence at the core of each of us.