Depth vs. Breadth
In working so much with the Pathwork Lectures I realize that so often I skip through the words of wisdom rather than stop, sit with, and reflect upon these words in relationship to my life experiences. I am reminded of a story of two researchers given the task to understand the rivers of the world. One set up an all-encompassing itinerary taking him to nearly 50% or all the rivers of the world over a five year period. The second camped out at the side of a single river near his home. He stayed with this one river the entire five years. The result? The first person knew much about many rivers, but did not really understand rivers very well at all. The second, by truly understanding one river, knew all rivers. He felt so connected to rivers, even fell in love with rivers. His was a truly rich experience.
Sometimes I find myself thinking that if I would stick with one single Pathwork Lecture for a year or two, I would know all the lectures at a deep level, whereas my current approach is more one of getting a cursory understanding of many lectures, organizing their concepts and fitting each piece into a framework, but missing the rich depth, connection, and love that would result if I paused more and truly applied this material to my life.
Why do I resist slowing down and digesting this rich material rather than gorging my intellect with more and more material? I see that in part I fear slowing down and mining the Truth from these lectures. Part of me doesn’t want to know, to change, to grow – to be transformed. Part of me wants me to already be transformed rather than to realize I am not transformed and then to do the hard work and surrender required to actually experience the transformation process. I use quantity as a defense against quality. I feed my voracious appetite for this material, but too often the material does not get beyond my intellectual mouth and into my soul’s digestive system. My mouth is full to overflowing, while my soul starves! Good to see this pattern in me!