A Pathworker’s Blog

…what motivates me to spend so much time involved with Sevenoaks Pathwork Center.

As I reenter my life after my New Year’s workshop experience, especially in reentering my organizational life in Sevenoaks and Pathwork, I find myself in a state of overwhelm.

I was blessed, along with seven others, to participate in a five-day meditation workshop over the New Year’s holiday.

Pat remarked that anorexia is a control thing — the anorexic derives pleasure from being in control, in this case control of food intake. To this I responded, “In the absence of love we choose control.”

This is what my journey of late has felt like — the fear and trembling part. Not an anxiety kind of fear (though that too at times) but more like a force exploding from within.

I seemed always to have a great deal of trepidation, especially of leading, or rather, helping to lead work scenes of emotional processing.

At first the closing words of this lecture, “Be Your God. Be the Christ,” sound blasphemous.

… I left this Christ-in-Christmas story as part of a bigger issue for me, namely, “Gary, just who is this Jesus Christ in your life?”

…the purpose of crisis is to rock our boat. I am aware of just how much I do not want my boat to be rocked.

Suddenly it arose in me, “We are each doing the best we can!” It felt powerful and true. But Pat was not comfortable with this claim. Pat asked, “Are we all really doing the best we can?”