Epiphany In My Path to Pathwork Helpership
This is my fourth year of apprenticing/assisting in the Sevenoaks Pathwork Transformtion Program. The first year I was just getting my feet wet. The second two years I was getting a little deeper into the work. Yet I seemed always to have a great deal of trepidation, especially of leading, or rather, helping to lead work scenes of emotional processing.
This year began the same way — a great deal of trepidation at the first weekend. And I cover this trepidation with over-preparation, here in the first weekend having prepared not one but four elaborate PowerPoint presentations of the Pathwork material. (Presentations which I offer in the Presentations section of this website)
But something shifted in recent weeks, and in the second weekend I entered the four-day weekend at Sevenoaks with far less fear, less preparation, and more eagerness to be with the class.
And the class was amazing for me personally. I wrote a piece describing the experience for my spiritual writing group, a group I have been with for over ten years. In my writing I was careful not to disclose the highly confidential work being done but still hint at pieces to convey the potency of the work and its impact on me. Attached is a link to this piece, titled Lessons In Listening.
The writing group received my piece well. One said, “Wow, Gary, you had an epiphany.” And then she added, “Be sure to remember this experience so that you can draw on its inspiration when you need it.” Another cleverly suggested a play on words, “You went from PowerPoint to finding a new Point of Power within.” With that she put her hand to her heart, expressing her sense that I had found how to be with the class from my heart.
I was deeply touched by their remarks. I felt heard, appreciated, and supported. This was icing on the cake of an already overflowing and rich experience.
While I have taken all the training required to be a Pathwork Helper, five years worth, I had never given serious thought to actually being a Pathwork Helper. There is a streak of laziness in me that gets covered with all my busyness in administrative activities, here with Pathwork administrative activities. I fool myself into thinking that by being busy I am certainly not lazy. But as my supervisor helped me see, my laziness shows up by not being willing to take the risks required to be a Helper. I take a shortcut rather than do the work to really express all that is alive in me. That’s another post some day perhaps.
But with this experience of this past Pathwork Transformation Program weekend things have shifted. I am seeing 2011 as the year to formally announce my availability as a Pathwork Helper. First it will be on an apprentice basis, and then, if that turns out to be useful to folks, I shall go through the final steps of forming a discernment committee and, if it still feels right, becoming a Helper. That would be a big step for me and make 2011 quite satisfying and fulfilling. Probably more than I realize.