A Jesus Christ Series – Part 10: Being the Christ
Session with Moira Shaw – October 17, 2013
Gary: Presenting problem: In some way I am in the dark night of the soul. As I let go of that which has come to define so much of my life – most recently my several roles in Mid-Atlantic Pathwork – I struggle with identity. Who am I? In dropping out of MAP’s organizational roles I’m dropping into a space without external frameworks and without outer authority to give me both my sense of identity as well as my sense of purpose and meaning in my life. I see how much fear comes up as I step out of these external identities and into the void where there are no structures.
Moira: I will give you my best as I open to your path and open to your guiding spirits, who know exactly what to put on your plate in order for you to take that next step to freedom. They are geniuses at planning for you, and it’s up to you to change your perspective on what’s happening in and around you, and then choosing a new attitude toward what’s happening in your life. It is totally up to you. [I can feel the child in me balk at the thought of taking self-responsibility for my life, that is, entering life “without a net” so to speak, without the safety net of external frameworks, without trusting external people and organizations to establish the framework in which I can play the came of life. I smile at this awareness.]
Gary: The first thing I was aware of in this new space, a space empty of structure, concerns my continued wrestling with Jesus Christ and the question, “Who is Jesus Christ in my life.” You and I had a session back in August on Jesus Christ. I also had some interaction with Sage Walker (Pat’s and my Pathwork couple’s counselor) on the topic of Jesus Christ, as well as an entire session about Jesus Christ back in July with Brian O’Donnell. Why did I choose Brian? I had noticed that he begins groups, supervision sessions with teams and individuals, and classes he teachers by calling in Jesus Christ. I wanted to know what that means for Brian, and discover how his relationship with Jesus Christ relates to my own relationship with Jesus Christ. Last week I set up my second call with Brian. In my request I told Brian that I had been doing extensive blog entries on Jesus Christ since July, in fact that I had created a series of eight blog entries on Jesus Christ, including material from my various helper sessions on this subject. I shared that it has been helpful to write it all out. Writing out these blogs is an inspiring process for me, at least in the moment I write them.
But in this 4-month inquiry about Jesus Christ I realize that I am still relying on external frameworks to define the “Jesus Christ game” it seems. For example, last week when I contacted Brian indicating it was about time for my second session with him on Jesus Christ, I mentioned that I had written and entire series of eight blog entries on Jesus Christ and on how Jesus Christ relates to me. In his response he said, quite matter-of factly, “Great, Gary, please send me links to these eight blog entries,” which I did. And doing this sent me into near panic! OK, “panic” is an overstatement, but I was aware of my discomfort in sending him the links.
After sitting with my anxiety I was curious as to why I was nervous at the thought of sharing my blog entries with Brian. The first and strongest source of fear concerned the fact that I had integrated so much material from my helper sessions into these blog entries. By doing so, was I violating boundaries of confidentiality with you, Sage, Brian, and others by sharing so much of what you and the others had said to me? The fear was sharp and deep. “Was I being a ‘Bad Boy’”? So I was letting external authority be my source of my “OKness” in this matter.
Beyond that source of fear, and less significant to my fear, was the actual content itself, fearing that my entries concerning Jesus Christ would reveal deep immaturity, arrogance, and wrong thinking. Again I was giving away my inner authority and seeking external approval of what I wrote. When I’m writing the blogs I actually feel enlivened from a deep source within, inspired even, as if a channel within has opened. But then after writing the blog fears come up. I feel shamefully naked in the midst of external authority and suddenly my inner authority vanishes.
Moira: Perhaps these fears are a mask, covering your negative intentionality to withhold your gifts and insights and not to give to the Cosmos from your Truth channel. All these fears about violating confidentiality, looking stupid, etc. are rationalizations covering over a deep negative intentionality not to share. Hence you find reasons to contract against sharing that which arises in you. Maybe you just want to withhold. Gary: Wow! Wow! I had never considered that possibility – that my fears cover over deeper issues, namely my desire to withhold from life. Moira: Perhaps you are especially withholding from other humans, wanting to keep your world private to yourself.
Gary: I came up with a ninth blog entry on Jesus Christ yesterday and sent it too to Brian. In it I shared the fear arising in me as I shared matters so personal concerning Jesus Christ. As background to this ninth blog entry I had been drawn to Pathwork Lecture 88 – Religion: True and False. From this lecture an idea hit home, the idea that I use Pathwork and others as external authority – letting Pathwork be an external authority in the style of false religion rather than using Pathwork as a tool or process to open me up to my own inner authority, which happens in states of true religion. So I had come to rely on a truth being Truth on the basis of, “because Pathwork says this is so,” rather than to rely on a truth being Truth solely on the basis of my own inner Knowing. Yes, Pathwork has been a tool for me, but that tool has been opening me up to the Truth that my Truth is my Truth, and that my Truth can be shared simply because it is true for me, arising as it often has from my own channel. And yet I hold that it is not rigidly true, for I remain open to consider other thoughts and ideas in a healthy way, at least sometimes.
I could see that in the end, when I am with another person I could be the one who is present to that person and could from that presence be a channel to Truth that arises in me for that person without referring to Pathwork at all. I must get past relying on the authority of the Guide behind the Pathwork teaching as being the “reason” for what I am saying being True. Rather Truth is Truth irrespective of Pathowrk. Moira: Referring to the Guide as your basis for considering a Truth you are sharing actually being Truth is already a mask. As long as you have authority issues and with those issues make Pathwork an authority, then you cannot give from your own inner channel. You use the authority of Pathwork as an excuse not to give from your own channel to Truth. But again, beneath this the truth is, “I just don’t want to give from my own channel.”
Moira (continued): Even using Jesus Christ as authority could be getting in the way of your channel. What if you just say, “The Christ”? That would look, or rather, feel different. I think you stick in the Jesus part of Jesus Christ, the human being Jesus, who became the Christ, as a distraction to yourself. When you add Jesus to Christ you can resist simply using your own channel and instead go down the path asking, “Who is this Jesus Christ?” and focusing on this question is a distraction to you.
Moira (continued): You throw in all of these questions and considerations in order to stop that connection to who you really are in your Essence: The Christ. Yes, “Gary Vollbracht, The Christ,” or, “Gary Vollbracht, I am.” Forget Jesus for a moment. Consider that Jesus isn’t important, the Christ is important. But of course Jesus is important in the sense that he became the Christ, and his mind overcame matter. He would dematerialize and rematerialize. At this we could say, “Wow, that’s pretty cool.” But the point was he became God, the Christ consciousness, which is, an aspect of God. So you want to throw this “Jesus” in like a little monkey wrench. Your relationship is with Christ Consciousness. The Christ you. That’s important. The Christ is the All Consciousness – the giving energy and loving energy. So whether it’s authority of others, or questions about who Jesus is, or Pathwork as an authority – it’s one of your ego tricks. Gary: My ego’s trick is my refusal to be the Christ. Moira: That’s right.
Moira (continued): And then, with your refusal to be the Christ, the Dark Night of the Soul becomes the fear of letting go of your many external definitions. Of course you would be afraid of letting go of what defines you if there is nothing else to move to, if you become nothing. Letting go, thinking you become nothing, becomes annihilation. So the connection to knowing that you are the Christ would enable you to let go of the outer definitions. But if, on the other hand, you are not making that journey back home to the Christ, that would make it very hard to let go of outer definitions, and of course then you would be in a lot of fear, fear that if you let go then you would not exist, at least not on one level. Gary: That is very helpful.
Moira: And being identified with the Christ, who knows what you do as far as healing yourself of your Leukemia. There’s a lot of possibility when you realize who you are and what you are capable of, and what the Truth is. Then matter becomes under your control. Then you start seeing this energy and realizing what energy you are going to bring to life and to your healing. You can heal! Gary: That’s beautiful. Moira: The sky’s the limit! And you know that.
[This is all incredible to take in, yet if feels so true on a deep level. And if true it certainly changes my life by changing my core attitude toward life!]
Gary: What I notice is that when I try to teach the Pathwork I get caught up in my intellectual understanding of the lectures and do not cut loose from them and simply be me. In other words, I try to teach something that is other than who I am. If I am the Christ, then I can Teach with a capital “T” as opposed to teaching with a little “t” based upon my intellect’s understanding of the lectures. The Teaching I can do from my Christ-self comes out of my Knowing with a capital “K.” Knowing with a little “k” is merely intellectual regurgitation from sources other than who I am. Moira: The Pathwork is a process to eliminate what obstructs you from identifying with Gary Vollbracht the Christ. Pathwork is just a process. It’s a working path by which you can eliminate the obstacles, the untruths, in order to get to the Truth. That’s it.
Moira (continued): And once you get to the Truth, maybe the Pathwork is over. Well, not really of course, because Pathwork keeps giving you tools for ever-deeper work, but basically it is over. Gary: Once you get to that point you no longer need the scaffolding around the building that was there while you were working on the building. You come into your own Essence. Moira: That’s right. Gary: And from there Teaching, if there is any teaching at all to be done, becomes more of a transmission through me rather than my little “s” self’s intellect explaining some external truth. Moira: Right. Exactly.
Gary: Interestingly aspects of this were coming up in me as I was writing out my blog yesterday (Part 9 of the Jesus Christ Series). In my blog I said I was not at that point yet of Teaching from my Essence rather than from my small “s” self’s intellect. Yet recently during one of our coffee times when I shared this sense of not being there yet to Pat, she responded that at times I am clearly at that point, that at times I am tapping into a deeper Truth, my channel to Truth. And so is she. From this state we are not quoting the guide or her sources, but rather we are quoting the Truth as it comes directly through us, at least at times. So it is very clarifying here for us to identify myself as Gary Vollbracht the Christ and for Pat to identify herself as Pat Peterson the Christ.
Gary (continued): As in the second coming of Christ, Christ is coming into each of us, that is, into each of our own beingnesses. Moira: That’s right. And that beingness is the being of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is really the executive function; it’s taking that Christ Consciousness and moving it out. And that is what we do when we just don’t know that we are the Christ Consciousness but we are nevertheless the active presence of the Christ, of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the executive aspect of the Christ.
Gary: And just like the man Jesus, we too live our lives. There is a lot of pain and suffering in our human existence, but it did not change the fact that Jesus was the Christ. Being the Christ does not mean that you are going to be free of all suffering. That is not at all true, not in the human body. Moira: He was the Christ when he overcame matter, when he dematerialized, when he became energy. He was a purified spirit, but would he be the Christ on earth? He did become the Christ on earth, because he did rise above it, he went beyond matter. And even when he was healing others, whether the person was crippled or mentally ill, he acknowledged the fact of their illness, but he went beyond their illnesses. He didn’t see them as “ill.” He went beyond it. So that’s why he could heal, because he saw them as beyond matter.
And of course he was himself beyond matter when he dematerialized. Not that there were not other yogis that dematerialized, but I don’t think any one of them then subsequently rematerialized. I think Jesus was the only one that both dematerialized and rematerialized. He had that control, that mind over the matter.
And so that is what you are moving toward. That’s who you are. And anything that brings doubt or question to this just needs to be challenged, be given a “treatment,” be given a “healing.” Gary: That’s just great to be with all this. Moira: So be careful with Jesus.
Moira (continued): I think it is in the Jesus Christ Lecture where the Guide talks about staying with your own religion: staying a Buddhist, Muslim, Jew, Christian or whatever it is. Every religion has whatever it takes to purify, to remove the obstacles. Then, with the obstacles removed, you will just automatically, from that place, start a process that may include the Christ Consciousness. But you don’t have to leave your religion to have that Christ Consciousness. It will just happen. Gary: And, using ideas from Pathwork Lecture 88 Religion: True and False, that coming to Christ Consciousness would be the true religion as opposed to the false religions that have everything to do with authority over others. Moira: In distortion that’s true, but yet most religions have enough truth to purify. Gary: I’m glad we’ve gone through this.
Shared in love, Gary