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A Shared Life of Wrestling, Growth, and Discovery

The Fear Shall Not Consume Me

Wednesday, February 17

As Pat and I began our morning meditation – our 30 minutes of silence sitting next to each other before the fire, coffee in hand – I received the message from within to quiet my mind and feel the deep longing for the warmth of connection that lives within my soul. I allowed the silence and could notice a taste of the longing. Over time a distinct felt-sense of “all are one” emerged. I was surprised by its arising. I simply allowed it, recognizing its newness.

During our hour of sharing after the period of silence I read aloud my blog entries, first the entry from yesterday (Valuing the Warmth of Connection), and then, because Pat seemed receptive (and because I’m so easily encouraged!), I read aloud the longer piece from Monday (Facing the Terror of Embodiment – The World of Sensations, Feelings, and Emotions).

Pat was very receptive to and moved by what I had written. “So rich – and your capacity to write and use just the right words is growing.” I was pleased by her enthusiasm and felt received and warmed by her positive response.

We shared more over the next hour, and then entered our closing time with guided meditation by Adyashanti titled The Naked Simplicity of Being (link to text) – a meditation we have used daily for the past 18 months to conclude our morning meditation time.

During this guided meditation the following arose, some of this being simply the words plucked from Adyashanti’s meditation that struck me as particularly relevant to me this morning … Yes, my body is holy. I can ask my body. I can trust my body. I open to the silent abyss. I can be with the fear that arises in me. I relinquish to what does not make a sound. Let me feel my deep fear in our morning embrace. If I do not allow myself to feel the fear that is there, I will not be able to feel the bliss that is behind the fear. The fear comes from the illusion of separation. Bliss is love, and love is the experience of union with all, including union with God. …

In our embrace I dared to relax, quiet my mind, and feel my fear. I noticed that the fear did not disturb me. After our embrace I shared what had arisen in me during the guided meditation and during the embrace. All special. Perhaps a flower blossoming for Pat and me.

Shared in love, Gary

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Gary Vollbracht