Finding the Core of My Negative Intentionality: "I Will NOT Be Happy!"

Session with Moira Shaw – Thursday, September 19, 2013

Note: This is my interpretation and editing of my session with Moira. She may have meant something different from what I interpreted, so do not hold her comments as I state them here as being 100% accurate.

Gary: Where will God call me now after stepping out of Sevenoaks and Mid-Atlantic Pathwork organization roles? Moira: God has wondrous plans for you now that are waiting to manifest in your life. I will give you my support for this new life that you are entering. The new life is just waiting for you.

Gary: I’ve been deeply into a few of the lectures since our session two weeks ago. I know that last time you referenced Pathwork Lecture 111 Soul-Substance – Coping With Demands because I was interested in the Guide’s distinction between feelings and emotions. (see quote) But I went on with studying this lecture further; it was a very beautiful lecture. I had put a note on this lecture that it was the first Pathwork Lecture that John Pierrakos ever read and that he was so drawn to it and Eva because he knew this lecture was Truth. Moira: Really! Thank you for sharing this. Gary: The other lecture I have been working with is Pathwork Lecture 141 Return to the Original Level of Perfection and then the one I am getting into now is Pathwork Lecture 218 The Evolutionary Process – the ego hopping on the train to keep up with the deep inner process or life stream of the Real Self. What is the meaning of every moment of my life? What is Spirit trying to tell me in each moment of my life? This lecture encourages me to see the purity that wants to evolve in me as I am present to each moment. Moira: Very beautiful. Where would you like to start today?

Gary: I had a big learning experience concerning my relationship with Pat earlier this week. On Sunday we took time out for a short romantic interlude before going out to the movies. I was troubled by our interlude, and I shared my experience with Pat during our Monday morning’s coffee time the next morning.  Sunday we were rushed through our interlude, because we wanted to go to a movie afterwards. During our time together I noticed that I wanted to move a little faster in our lovemaking, and yet Pat did not seem to me to be in an amorous space. Monday morning I shared the emotions I felt during and after this experience Sunday. I found I had built resentment toward Pat. I went to a place of saying we would never have times of deep lovemaking again, and of course I blamed her for this, concluding that lovemaking is not a page she is on in our relationship. And then I saw my resignation – this is the way it is always going to be.

Moira: So you were in a defense of blaming Pat. What did you feel behind that defense of resentment? Gary: Sadness. Frustration. Resentment. Resignation. Moira: Still defenses, so what’s behind that? Gary: Powerlessness. An image arose Monday morning – it was as if I had a birth defect on my face and then made myself stand in front of a mirror and look at it. Looking at our relationship as broken in the sexual arena. Moira: Again a defense, rather than being with “what is,” which is the inconvenience of the limited time – you had decided to go to the movies and the time for your lovemaking was short. If you would have had more time things would perhaps have worked out differently. So you were facing the inconvenience of the earth plane – that there is time and space in the world of duality – so you were not accepting the limits set by your incarnation in the earth plane – not recognizing that there are choices to be made.

The ego has to make choices. You could have stayed home and not gone to the movie. So you are resisting the earth plane. And that’s what the Guide says is our primary task, the task we take on before we serve humanity, namely our initial task is the task to dominate the earth plane, that is, dominate in the best sense of that word. In other words, dominating the earth plane means to BE HERE on the earth plane with its limitations. Gary: To fully incarnate! Moira: Right, and so when you are saying, NO!, and making all kinds of conclusions that I’m never going to make love again, etc. – all of that is a defense representing your unwillingness to incarnate as “merely and utterly human.”

Gary: Yes. It tapped into what characterologists call a schizoid personality, wanting to leave the earth plane existence rather than to incarnate fully into the earth plane and experience its limitations. Moira: Don’t dramatize your experience by naming it schizoid pathology. It’s just you and your ego saying, “No. I want my way. I want 100 (Unitive consciousness), not 50/50 (non-dual consciousness). And yet I am on the earth plane where 100 is not part of my 100/100 dualistic consciousness. The true schizoids just have many many areas where they are like that. With you this non-acceptance of 50/50 non-dual consciousness may just be in the arena of sex. Don’t dramatize it now. Rather notice what you are doing and then say, “What the heck am I doing, creating all kinds of defenses and masks and all it is is that “I just want my way regarding sexuality, I do not want to be in three-dimensional time-bound reality.” That’s all it is.

Now you have a choice. “Am I going to fight?” or, “Am I going to surrender?” When you surrender, when you are not resisting the time element, the time will just totally change. Your relationship to time will change. Isn’t that right? Time itself creates duality on the earth plane? So if you say, “I surrender to the limitations of the earth plane,” something magical will happen. Pat will open up. You’ll be able to have sex and go to the movies. But as long as you are still caught in earth-plane consciousness, then you are going to have to make a choice. And making a choice is also a good thing, making a choice helps to develop your ego, to make a choice between movie or sex. And when you get that under your belt, without resenting the price of the choice, then suddenly things start moving. Boundaries start changing.

Gary: And that is what happened to me the next morning. Pat and I talked about our experience. I spoke about where I was with my building resentment and “awfulizing” the experience, and Pat was shocked in hearing about my experience, and saddened. She said, “For me the time was just utterly beautiful. There we were, skin to skin. It was just wonderful.” Moira: Wow. Gary: So I was able to take that in and recognize that I had somehow missed what was available in the moment. Moira: She’s an angel. She’s such an angel!

Gary: As I sat with Pat on Monday morning I could see that I had narrowed love and intimacy down to sex. Instead of having bitterness and resentment over unfulfilled sex I could see the possibility for a broader and more real feeling of intimacy between us, and then I could envision opening up and just being there, just relaxing into the beauty of being with another human being in those precious moments on Sunday.

Moira: But you can’t open up to this deeper consciousness until you face your, “No!” to the earth plane, your “No!” to being limited and having to make a choice between having intimacy as opposed to having sex. You don’t want to just mentally get there. It’s not going to stick if it is just intellectual. Your emotions are still saying, “I don’t want to have to make choices.” And the earth plane is a plane of choices. If you could honestly realize this and say, “No! I want sex and the movie and intimacy – I want it ALL,” and from there you could realize that choosing that kind broader kind of intimacy without sex that Pat had enjoyed requires a choice. You have such a memory of Spirit from the Spirit world, you have that, so you can go to amazing expanded spiritual spaces, but this memory is also limiting your incarnational experience because it is very hard for you to surrender to the boundaries on the earth plane.

So how do you surrender to your incarnation on the earth plane? First you have to recognize that you are not yet surrendered to the earth plane, that you are saying, “No!” to the boundaries. “No! I don’t want just intimacy, I want sex too!” “I want the expanded state of intimacy as well as the sexual experience!”  And that recognition of your resistance to boundaries is great. But not until you accept the limitations that you cannot have both rich intimacy and sex in a limited amount of time (due to also wanting the movie) can you go on in your growth and development. That refusal to surrender to having boundaries is where you get caught. That is where you want to end the relationship with Pat, saying, “She’ll never be that.” Or blame yourself and say “I’ll never be this.”

Yet the amazing truth is that you are going to be all this. It’s almost like the Universe is winking at you, “Gary, you’ll see,” but first you have to accept the limitations, even though the limitations are not reality. OK, Gary, say “No!” to the surrender. Gary: “No! I won’t surrender. I want what I want, and I want it now!” Moira, I can feel my demands! Moira: And you go on, “And I don’t care how miserable I make myself or how miserable I make Pat, or how many defenses and rationalizations I have in my position here, I WANT IT NOW! EVERYTHING! I will never surrender to the boundaries and limitations of my earth plane incarnation!”

Gary: As I say earlier, what I found in being with this on Monday is that I could really see how what I really longed for with Pat was love and intimacy, not just the act of sex.  And it was almost as if I was using sex as a pseudo-solution to problem of not having the intimacy and love I truly longed for. Sex was my shortcut. I could see how I was narrowing and limiting my longing for love and intimacy because I was not familiar with connecting with Mom, say, not familiar with being in the family and experiencing a whole relationship full of love and intimacy. I was discovering that I really do not know how to be in relationship when I am put into the situation of relating to a woman (or a man, for that matter).

I can see that my relationships with women, especially women to whom I am attracted, get narrowly sexualized. I could see that if I let go of that narrow sexual view of relating to women and could open to whatever Pat was offering, to her love and deeper intimacy, that I could possibly experience my relationship with Pat evolving into a healthy and balanced sexuality, that a beautiful sexual experience could evolve out of that deeper and broader intimacy and love. I was cutting off the intimacy and love that was being offered by Pat by my insistence of going to sex too fast. Moira: Yes.

Gary: And as I said, Pat and I talked about this the next morning and as we came to the end of our sharing I was full of joy. I get so excited about seeing what I had done here in focusing on sex alone rather than being open to a deeper space of intimacy and love. Indeed, the Truth sets free. Moira: Do you think then that your resistance to the earth plane incarnation with its limitations and hence the need to make choices is just a momentary experience in your relationship with Pat that came into play on Sunday? Do you think that actually you’re beyond that, but from time to time, like Sunday, you are still holding onto that narrow sexualized view of intimacy intending thereby to keep yourself from what you really want, which is the broader and deeper intimacy and love?

This is a tricky thing. You are ready to go beyond your narrow sexualized view of intimacy and love, and you are ready to really surrender to your incarnational limitations, but yet here with Pat you want to talk yourself into this rather than facing and experiencing and feeling the energy that lives in you that says, “No, I want it ALL and I want it NOW!” Know that, in true reality, the ALL is waiting for you.  Gary: I think heretofore I was not believing there was an ALL, for I had had not had the experiences of that level or intimacy and love. It was as if the door opened Monday morning and I could see there was more, but I did not yet know what that more was.

Moira: So what was the intentionality Sunday during your time with Pat, since you’ve now had that experience of the “Wow!” the morning after when your eyes were opened and you could see the possibility for a broader but unfamiliar and hence Mysterious experience of love and intimacy? What would have been the intentionality not to really inhabit that new spaciousness, not to really be aware that “being in the moment” will be the ALL? What’s your intention not to believe that you can have it ALL? Gary: (admittedly confused by the question)

Well it seemed that I was going to have it ALL, but it was going to be coming through a door of intimacy and love rather than a forced premature and narrowly defined sexuality. Moira: And why were you resisting it Sunday, resisting sex coming through the broad door of intimacy and love that Pat had opened? What was the defense here? Why were you resisting intimacy and love on a deeper more spontaneous level?

Gary: In a way I think I was frightened of sex arising from deep spontaneous intimacy. Moira: Because? Gary: Because I would not have control! It would pull me into spontaneity! I would be out of control! Moira: Yes, but maybe that fear of losing control is a defense. Maybe a defense against being happy! Maybe the defense is, “I don’t want to be happy!” Yes it will pull me out of control and I’ll have fear, and everything in this defense arises because I have an intention not to be happy! Because the Guide says happiness is where our task begins. It is not that we die when we are finally happy and purified and can then leave the earth plane. No. When we experience deep happiness, this is where we actually have something to give to life, and this is where our life of service can begin. When we are HAPPY we can give our HAPPINESS to LIFE.

So it’s as if you talk yourself into all these fears or needing control or narrowing your experience of intimacy and love to sex, in order not to be happy. Because in fact happiness was right there the next morning! You felt the joy of intimacy the next morning in conversation with Pat, right? Gary: Yes indeed. I think you’ve nailed it here. I can see in me something that does not want to be happy. “I will do anything not to be happy!” Moira: Yes. So just say it. Gary: “I will not be happy! My case against life is that I am not happy and I’m not going to ever be happy.” And I’m going to prove my case against Life, against God, by staying unhappy to my dying days.

Moira: Yes. So if you’re not going to be happy you’re going to be what? Bitter? Unhappy? What is it? “I am not going to be happy, I am going to be …” Gary: Unhappy. Sad. Depressed. Moira: Last time you said your “secret” was your humanity, you didn’t even want to admit your humanity to yourself. See if you can narrow this secret a bit more. What are you holding onto as your secret? What is the secret that you don’t even want to admit to yourself? That you are going to defend against seeing by putting up all these resistances and roadblocks to being happy? (Long Pause) What is the secret? The secret emotion that you are going to nurture? (Pause) Gary: Punishment. Moira: Ah ha. Yes. That you are going to punish. That you are a punisher. “I’m not going to be happy, I’m going to punish Life by refusing to be happy.” (Long Pause) Gary: Yes. Moira: That’s good awareness.

Gary: Unexplained anger toward Life! Moira: Yes. That’s good awareness. Gary: A bitterness toward Life. (long pause) I resent having to be on the earth plane! To be in any way limited.

Moira: It was even wanting to keep that punisher, that wanting to be bitter, that unexplained anger, and that resentment, concealed. You wanted to conceal these negative energies even from yourself! And of course from others. So what is your defense? How do you conceal your unhappiness from others, that secret emotion that you just revealed, how do you keep it secret from others? Gary: (long pause) By having a lot of material things, having an identity in the material world – roles to fill, performance in those roles. Moira: So you conceal your unhappiness by putting up a front: “I have everything I could possibly want, see, I’m happy.” Gary: To put on an air that there is really nothing I am unhappy about. Moira: An air of happiness. That’s great awareness. Gary: Because I know I get really frightened when I get close to something that may reveal that I’m sad or, God forbid, that I’m depressed, I will do anything to keep you from knowing I’m depressed. Moira: Yes. Because that will reveal that secret that you are unhappy, depressed, and want to punish and stay angry with and resent Life on the earth plane. You will do anything not to reveal that secret.

Gary: So part of the secret is that I am depressed. Right? Moira: Yes. And I want to stay depressed because from there I can punish life. “Life, you did me dirty. Look how depressed I am, and it’s your fault.” That’s good to see, Gary. So you will do anything you can to keep people from knowing that you are depressed or a punisher of life, or sad. This defense includes putting on an air of happiness, a pseudo-happiness.

Also, when you worked so hard, that was a way to keep you from really slowing down and facing this secret part of you that was so unhappy. You concealed your unhappiness with over-activity. So I think now that you are letting go of that busyness, you are emptying out your life of busyness so you can really face this part of you that has been secret – that secret that you are unhappy, want to stay unhappy but keep your unhappiness a secret. You filled your life with busyness – you had to do this chart, that budget, run one meeting after another – all to avoid seeing your secret that you were unhappy and wanted to punish life for limiting you and by proving that the limitations life imposed on you on the earth plane makes you unhappy.

Now as you are slowing down you are going to meet yourself in this way, and as you do this, awareness will come up out of the unconscious and you’ll be able to question it, “What am I doing here?” and “Do I need to resent and punish life by staying unhappy?” Then you will start making those inroads into your true and real happiness. You started to have a glimpse of this joy the morning after your experience of the movie-intimacy-sex crisis with Pat. You are moving to really be fully happy and fulfilled by meeting this place, by meeting this intention not to be happy. Gary: This is a true negative intentionality, to spite Life and God: “I will not be happy!” Moira: That’s right. That is really and truly a negative intentionality!

The Guide says your negative intentionality has to do with your refusing to give to the world – and if you are not really happy you cannot give happiness to the world! (See Pathwork Lecture 5: Happiness for Yourself or Happiness as a Link in the Chain of Life) Or joy, or the Good News. Refusing to give to the world is true negative intentionality: “I will not be happy!” “By refusing to be happy I am refusing to give happiness to the world.” “I have a secret that I’m hiding that I’m going to be sad, depressed, angry, and a punisher of Life. But I’m going to wear an air of happiness, a pseudo-happiness – ‘Look, I have everything!’”

Gary: That really fits, and what I am aware of in this pulling away from Mid-Atlantic Pathwork is that it’s feeling so organic. Today was my last Pathwork Council meeting. A couple of new people came onto the Council, and I could just let go. And I could just feel this weight being lifted off of my shoulders. “This is really beautiful. I don’t have to do any more minutes, any more agendas, any more faculty assigning, any more student evaluations, any more organizing, and so on. Moira: “I can make the space to feel just how unhappy I want to be. … By leaving these roles in MAP I’ve created the space to feel my unhappiness and feel the power of my negative intentionality to stay unhappy no matter what, my refusal to give up my unhappiness!” Gary: And if feeling my unhappiness gets too painful I’ll look for another job to distract me. (laughter all around)

Gary: And this matter of leaving Mid-Atlantic Pathwork brought up something you mentioned in a session long ago. You invited me to ask myself, “Gary, are you really committed to Mid-Atlantic Pathwork? Were you really committed in your leadership? Did the thriving of Mid-Atlantic Pathwork really matter to you, or were you just giving it lip-service?” …  I could see that I was willing to put in tons of work, but would refuse to believe that my work was going to pay off in successfulness of the organization or in my fulfillment and happiness. I approached these Mid-Atlantic Pathwork jobs like Sisyphus, willing to do tons of work but never expecting these efforts to really pay off for myself or for the organization, never expecting to feel happy or fulfilled in this work. And because this was my expectation, this is what manifested for me – only marginal fulfillment in all this work.

And I can see that my negative energy was not helpful for the organization! Moira: Your secret was, “I’m going to stay unhappy. I am not going to do what I need to do to get my points across, no matter how right they felt to me.” Your commitment, fed by your negative intention to stay unhappy, was to resentment and spite – proving your case against Life that hard work was never rewarded by joy, fulfillment, and happiness:  having to work so hard, only to be defeated, to spite life in MAP, to prove that hard work never worked! Gary: It was as if I didn’t want things to be successful, because success would break my inner goal to stay very busy but unhappy in order to prove my case against life. I was committed to being unhappy, to working hard, but not be happy. Building up my case against life! “So there, Life, see how hard I have worked, and all for naught!” I wanted my hard work to be for naught so I could maintain my case against life. I can feel the truth of this on a deep level.

Moira: You were saying, “Look how much I’m doing!” This not only fed your case against life, proving that your busyness on behalf of MAP would never lead to happiness or fulfillment for yourself or the organization, but it also kept you too busy to face these emotions (to face and experience unhappiness). If you would have had an encounter with your deep unhappiness that would have been transformative. Gary: I could feel my anger at being so busy, but I could not feel my underlying unhappiness and could not recognize my commitment to staying unhappy. Again, this secret attitude was not helpful to the organization! And furthermore, if transformation was the key to happiness, my negative intentionality would fight against my transformation as well. I did not want to change. I did not want to drop my case against Life!

Moira: That’s right. And so now in relationship with Pat, you can see your intention not to be happy, no matter what she did. Even if she wanted sex 24/7, somehow you would find a way to be unhappy in your relationship. Gary: (laughing) Yes, I am committed to making this a miserable relationship! “Pat, I dare you to make it any other way!” Moira: Exactly. And here she is like this angel who has descended upon you. Every time you try to get her into a corner to justify and further your unhappiness, she gives you the ticket out of your unhappiness. Gary: (laughing) “I don’t want the ticket out of misery, I want to be miserable!” Moira: (laughing) That is so great to see and be able to laugh about.

Gary: Back to my comment about not wanting to change and be transformed, I think I also have an intention for Pathwork itself not to work as a tool of transformation. I will do all the work required (in fact, I shall be attracted by the mere difficulty of Pathwork!), but in the end I will prove that Pathwork will not work! Pathwork will never lead me to happiness and fulfillment! Oh yes, I’ll be faithful to Pathwork, but I will never be happy or fulfilled in life through Pathwork! In fact, if my purification and transformation would lead to my happiness, I would find a way to prove that, even in doing as much work as possible to be purified and transformed, I would not be happy! One more case against Life and against God! Even work on myself in a heavy-duty transformation program like Pathwork will never pay off by bringing me happiness or fulfillment! I can feel my negative intentionality here. Wow! Moira: That’s right. That’s good to see.

Gary: To see how this commitment to staying unhappy permeates everything in my life is frightening. I want to stay unhappy on every front there is! Moira: This just reinforces the case against life. And when you forget about the intention of building even further this case against life, then when you are doing so much with Pathwork and still don’t feel happy, or work your head off with the Council or Finance Committee or Board and still they are not implementing what you see needs to be implemented, then you really have a case to be angry against life. All of these things just keep reinforcing the commitment to unhappiness and build further your case against Life and against God.

Moira: But now you’re getting to the core of the matter. And that is where the change is going to happen. Just the awareness of the degree of your negative intentionality to never be happy, Gary, releases energy. Now when negativity and resentment and unhappiness come up you can see them and question them, asking, “What am I doing here!” Asking, “Do I really have a case against life?” “Am I really that disappointed in life?” It just becomes something to question with your healthy adult ego. It is the child in you that wants to remain unhappy and be a punisher of Life. Now the adult can come in and manage your life. Because you now know what’s there. Gary: It’s a little overwhelming to see all this. Moira: And yet it is great.

Gary: Another piece that comes up is the question, “Do I want to be a helper, or not?” Moira: Does your helper work make you happy? Gary: After the helper sessions I give I am quite happy and feel full of gratitude for walking with and helping another Soul. Then just before the next sessions the negative energy comes up, “I don’t want to do it!” Moira: Of course the negative energy, the “No!” comes up, because you are committed to being unhappy! Gary: I want to play. I don’t want to work. Moira: That’s the mask to keep yourself from being happy. The “not wanting to offer another helper session” is deeper than your mask of playing and laziness. When your workers feel so good and helped by your work, this doesn’t support your case against life, namely your case: “I will never never be happy!” If you took up a more active helpership and experienced happiness and fulfillment in the process, you would have to give up your case against life.

Yet the truth is that when you are helping another Soul in Helpership it’s thrilling. And you do have, however, that place in you that says, “I don’t want to be happy or fulfilled by such a thrilling experience.” So you will find reasons not to advance into more Helpership, or to make it less than what it is. Here are some of the rationalizations you might use not to pursue Helpership: “I’m too busy. I’m too lazy. I’m ineffective as a helper. I don’t know energy work. I have no counseling skills. Etc.” This rationalization is an ego trick to keep you from being happy and fulfilled in your services of being a Helper! The hallmark of the Lower Self is this type of rationalization. You could rationalize by saying, “I’m not really a full helper, I’m too busy on other things, like MAP, I don’t really want to do it, I’m scared, …”  You could use all of these rationalizations, but that’s the Lower Self. The proof of the matter of your being a Helper is in the pudding. And the pudding is that you are happy when as a session concludes and a Soul has been helped in his or her journey. Also when someone is helped by your Pathwork Lecture recordings or your website or your blog can you feel happiness in your body. Gary: For sure! I feel excitement and enthusiasm, I feel inspired.

Moira: This excitement and enthusiasm are not too different from the morning after the movie-sex-intimacy crisis with Pat. In your coming to understand what was happening in your process you felt joy, right? Gary: Right. Absolutely! Moira: That “All-is-right-in-the-world-somehow” feeling. Gary: Yes. Moira: So in deciding your right actions in any situation ask, “Will doing this make me happy?” “Will not doing it make me unhappy?” “By not doing this am I feeding that negative intentionality in me not to be happy?” This is the very core of your negative intentionality: “I will not be happy!”

Gary: In my writing group on the Tuesday following this Sunday and Monday morning experience with Pat I read my writing on this event with Pat.  (It is included as my blog dated September 21 and titled “Discovering ‘What Makes Me Tick?’ Makes Me Tick.) After I read it, one woman in the group asked, “Gary, do you have anything good to say about yourself or your life?” I was shocked by her question and have been taking this in on a deeper level ever since. Our next assignment for next time is, “What is good about me?”  But by her asking the question about my happiness I ask myself, “Am I always perceived as being that negative?” Because for me my writing piece on Tuesday had a positive resolution due to the insight it provided me – hence the joy was in sharing my process – my Joy was in the Journey though these moments of difficulty and resolution. Moira: (laughing) You could simply tell her that this is your secret, that “I am bound to always be unhappy and feel bad about myself!” That is so interesting. So funny. Gary: Life is so funny. But I have to be careful when I get into something that could make me happy – like writing this blog or teaching a Pathwork class or helpership – because I realize I am going to do whatever is necessary to sabotage myself and make myself once more unhappy. Moira: So true. But now you are aware. It’s all wonderful, Gary.

Shared in love, Gary


I notice that even in writing this blog I find fulfillment and happiness. Yes, it is perhaps risky to expose such material, but there is excitement in playing with these pieces of the puzzle that is “Gary.” In a way it feels like an outlet of creativity, and there is joy in sharing such material. Yes, a taste of happiness and fulfillment. Of course quickly clouds of fear come in and challenge me about my motives for such sharing. Dare I risk such vulnerability in talking about sexuality? Dare I not, if this is what arises in me! Is this sharing part of the new life arising in me? In this awareness of how I sabotage “feeling happy” perhaps I can embrace the happiness that Life offers!

What is happiness? I find joy in the Journey of Life. Happiness as such is a dynamic process rather than a fixed state, a fixed Heaven. Happiness is the Joy of being an acorn while at the same time feeling the Life Force moving me forward into being a sapling and then from there the Life Force moving me into space of being a mighty oak and from there creating new life through being thousands of acorns, and the cycle continuing over and over again. Yes, the ever flowing Journey of Life IS Happiness.

For us humans this evolving process, the Journey, is one of unfolding consciousness, ever deepening awareness of self and the All.  As such, along the limited time and space dimensions of duality and non-duality big “H” Happiness incorporates temporary manifestations of little “p” pain and little “p” pleasure as the Soul evolves toward the Unitive consciousness of the Joy, Fulfillment, Happiness, and Pleasure that Life is in its authentic timeless Reality.

So in practical terms what is my evolving experience of Happiness with Pat? It is increasingly surrendering into the process of accepting and savoring what is offered in each moment of our relationship as we experience ever-deeper levels of consciousness and Happiness.