Emptying Before Filling

Meditation – Monday

Focusing Statement – Pathwork Lecture 131 Interaction Between Expression and Impression ¶ 9-11

We have, in our pathwork, two fundamental approaches, both of which are necessary.  One is finding, expressing, and emptying out what is within you, so that it can be reexamined as to its truthfulness and reality.  The second is impressing, molding and directing the powers within yourself, so as to create favorable, or more variable, circumstances.  These approaches are interdependent.  In order to live meaningfully and dynamically, an interrelationship between them is necessary.  I can recognize that many of you, my friends, are often in confusion regarding this happy interaction, this mutual interplay between expressing and impressing, between emptying out and putting in truth.  When there is no harmony between these two activities, there must be confusion and darkness.

No matter how important each of these two approaches is by itself, using one instead of the other makes the fulfillment you seek unattainable.  It is not easy to know when one and when the other activity is appropriate.  Let us try to shed a little more light on this subject.

From our past endeavors you all know the importance of examining your unconscious thoughts and reactions.  You all know that taking a truthful concept and impressing it over as yet unrecognized, untruthful ideas is merely self-deception, superimposition.  It cannot create a genuine constructive attitude.  Your psyche is like a vessel.  If it is filled with muddy water and you pour clear water into it, the clear water becomes muddy too.  So the muddy water must be emptied first.  When I say it must be emptied, this means you must understand its contents.  You must understand that particular misconceptions make the water muddy, what these misconceptions are, and in what way they are misconceptions.  This is the expressing, the emptying out.

As I sat with these words I thought about the tasks in front of me in order for me to lead my life from a deeper level of truth, from a level of truth and reality that would lead to even greater fulfillment and happiness. When I see areas of unfulfillment or unhappiness, my task is to

1) recognize and accept self responsibility for the fact that my own misconceptions give rise to such unfulfillment or unhappiness,

2) come to understand these misconceptions and understand how they manifest in my unfulfillment or unhappiness (come to see cause and effect), and

3) come to understand why they are misconceptions, that is, see in what way they are wrong ideas and beliefs, why they are, in Pathwork language, images and not the truth.

This is my job of expressing and emptying out misconceptions that lie within my unconscious.

Coffee Time

I shared the focusing statement with Pat and shared some of my misconceptions regarding our relationship – beliefs and images I held that precluded our having a more fulfilling relationship. Now that was a huge “AHA” experience – seeing at a still deeper level and in a more profound way how my images were interfering with Pat and me having a more fulfilling love experience, and accepting that this was true.

I went on to beliefs I held about our Leaders Retreat, my role in same, and beliefs about Pathwork and Sevenoaks. These were, as always, eye-popping realizations – always going deeper each time I look.  And I noticed that realizing all of this did not depress me but rather filled me with energy – to see the truth that my belief system blocks so much fulfillment and happiness in my life, and especially in my relationship with Pat.

Pat: And I can see my beliefs that stand in the way of our relationship maturing as well. It was a little scary, but she described some of her images concerning our relationship – some of which were similar to my own.  Gary: We need a huge “ERASER” and then we need to go back and erase, erase, erase how we each have been looking at our relationship. Truly a “beginner’s mind” is called for in our relationship. I can see this so plainly. Pat: Yes, coming to experience each day anew and fresh in our relationship.  Such a freeing moment. An exciting moment. Letting go of patterned thinking in our relationship.

We went on to compare our changing love relationship with our changing relationship with food – noticing how in our recent very successful diet program we are coming to savor the lusciousness of smaller but tastier meals – similar to our changing relationship with our love relationship – on all fronts there is freshness. We could see the potential of our relationship growing in its lusciousness and exquisiteness.

Pat: How are you with all of this? Gary: This is very helpful.  But now I can see that I bring a certain laziness to our relationship, that is, I want our relationship the way I (my inner child) wants it and he wants it delivered to him on a silver platter without his having to work at it, without his having to work on his issues in regard to our relationship, in short, without his having to grow up. Again, our couple’s work with Sage and Anthony will be both good and, for me, very challenging (little kids hardly ever want to grow up to become self-responsible adults!). I can begin to see just how challenging this may be! So many unconscious images and wrong concepts about relationship with a mate have to be found and erased. Pat: For me this is about not needing to have my thinking cap on managing my every thought and action in our relationship but rather more living in a state of continuous and fluid surrender in our relationship, surrender to Life.

I read the focusing statement out loud again. Pat: (Laughing) The muddy waters the lecture speaks of were like thick tar in me earlier.  They are now thinning out a bit perhaps. What are my daily prayers? Whatever they are they must end with, “May I awaken, for the benefit of all beings.” May we be open to the Beyond! Gary: Yes, may we be open to the Beyond, without having to see the Beyond. Our Surrender to Life!

Shared with love, Gary