A Pathworker’s Blog

Writing for my Writing Group 1/18/14…So Moments Worth Remembering is the topic for our January 18th Writing group. As soon as the topic was assigned last month I started keeping track of such times.

Gary: Let’s pick up from where we left off yesterday. Pat: Yes. I said I wanted more of your Life Force present in our relationship and you spoke of the fear that comes up in you at the mere thought of bringing your Life Force, with all of its spontaneous creativity and energy, into our relationship.

The past two years made possible by my chemo have been very rich and fulfilling, years I would have missed without this chemo treatment. And the next few years seem to hold even more richness.

As I read this excerpt I could feel the chains fall away from my spiritual journey and freedom emerge. I could feel myself free to be me, free to experience life as it arises.

“Clearly Gary, your relationship with a woman is your deepest commitment in this life, your core Calling!”

For different reasons the church just didn’t work for us any more. We do not miss the “tribes” of which we were so much a part and that had defined our spiritual lives for so many years. We wonder why, but not enough to reengage.

Nothing could have been improved upon in my book. What was there not to be moved and inspired by in such an outpouring signifying the reason for the season? … And yet I had to ask myself why I was uncomfortable, anxious even, and not that inspired this year.

What has this shift been about? As I sat in meditation I noticed that I am moving away from being a seeker for answers to living the Mystery beyond the questions.

Pat said that at that moment when I made my “helpful” insightful comment she suddenly felt like a scared rabbit hiding in the back of its cage. She was frightened and withdrew.

No doubt about it, I love groups. If groups don’t exist, I create them. But I am quite focused here: all of the groups that have mattered to me have been spiritually-oriented deep-sharing groups