Am I Really Open to Spirit Flowing in from Everyone?
A Morning Meditation Time
Yesterday I had clarity that Spirit was flowing in from everyone on our Thursday Pathwork Council conference call. This was Wisdom coming in to guide us in preparation for the upcoming Pathwork Leaders Retreat in May. It was awe-inspiring to feel this during the meeting and afterwards.
And then, later, I noticed a resistance to this notion of Spirit coming in from everyone! I sent out a note to the Pathwork Council and Executive Committee sharing what I thought could be a possible framework for the Leaders Retreat based upon my sense of our Council meeting – attempting to get the ball rolling as we have only 5 or 6 weeks to organize and develop this retreat. I got only a little response to my proposed framework. “What, are people not on board here?” I asked myself (seeing that I could myself be in a forcing current and not opening to Spirit – or, on the other hand, was my outline and initiative in getting the ball rolling, in fact, an opening to Spirit in me – the discernment between Spirit-led and Self-Will-led, when one is as will-oriented as I am, can be tricky here).
Then input would come in, and I found that some I would be open to and some I would not. How interesting. I would even feel fear depending upon who the sender of information would be, fear just in knowing from whom the information was coming! Wow. I remember one of the Pathwork lectures speaking to this a priori prejudice – accepting Spirit through some folks, but not through others, quite independent of the actual content of that possible expression of Spirit. Could I be open to Spirit coming from all sources, even those with whom my ego (or Higher Self in some cases?) disagreed?
And what about Spirit coming through me? Maybe what I share is not coming from Spirit, but is coming from my ego’s sense of “urgency” (the retreat is but six weeks away), “compulsion,” from my “ego” “knowing” what “should” happen, hoping others will fall in line with my thinking.
So let me back off and allow Spirit to come through me too, from a deep place. And realize that Spirit’s guidance may be something quite different from what my ego would think to do or want to do. The familiar line, “Let go, let God.” Or, “Not my will but Spirit’ will be done.”
But I may not want to play my part – Spirit’s part for me may be my edge, pushing me to have to trust God rather than my “puny” Self Will and Pride, as Pathwork Lecture 203 describes it. Spirit may call me to have to discern what is coming through me and through others from ego and what is coming through each of us from Spirit. I may not want to discern honestly but rather go along with another’s or my own Power Mask, or be tempted to submit rather than discern and express appropriate disagreement (Love Mask), or be tempted to withdraw all together and let the chips fall where they will even though they do not feel right from a deeper part of me (Serenity Mask). I see how complex this can be for my conditioned patterning. Spirit is asking of me once again, “Gary, Show Up!” This, of course, is my call, and all of our calls – showing up from our Essence. And the wisdom to Know what our Essence is truly wanting and asking of us, and saying.
Shared with love, Gary