Loving the Pathwork Lectures

As usual, this week my daily review has revealed many disharmonies in my life, granting me a window on my Soul’s Journey and leading to self-knowledge, the prerequisite to purification through my free life choices becoming more aligned with Spiritual Law, in turn the prerequisite to a life of deeper inner joy, even in the face of outer experiences of disharmony and emotional pain.

Some of these disharmonies have been fearing I shall lose my sense of identity of service as I exit my various leadership roles in Mid-Atlantic Pathwork over the next three months, nervousness over Pat’s and my leading an evening of Pathwork for a local Pathwork group next Friday, no response to one of my emails to a person requesting my audio recordings of the Pathwork lectures, my weight creeping up to 159.8, and low juice in my relationship with Pat even though our intensive with Sage and Anthony two weeks ago was off-the-chart wonderful.

I asked myself, “So Gary, what would your ego like in all of the above matters?” My answers were revealing: Recognition for being of great service to Pathwork, comfortable, without fear and passionate about leading the Pathwork group next Friday, powerful engagement with the individual who did not respond to my email, weight at 154.5, and passion in my relationship with Pat. I could see that these were all mostly superficial longings, bolstering up my ego’s sense of superiority. Also revealing my narcissism it seems.

What would happen if I accepted all of these disharmonies as part of my humanity – part of my being “merely and utterly human”? My ego makes them life or death matters, ramping up their importance to my survival. What if, instead, I would come to accept my humanity and relax into these disharmonies, being curious about them, and coming to see the faults that underlie them?

I nearly laughed out loud. I saw my strong “NO!” I do not want to come out of my melancholy, my funk. Rather, I “enjoy” or rather wallow in my disharmonies. This space is familiar, and somehow I do not want to come out of this funk. Old stuff, old patterns. Part of me does not want joy in my life.

My prayer: “May I come to see all this from a higher level, oh God. I do not ask You to take me out of this funk as if by magic, but rather I ask You to show me where, how, and why I hang on to such negativity.”

Pat joined me for coffee time…

Pat: The Erotic seems to evade us. Toward the end of our two-and-a-half-day intensive Sage and Anthony noted how Spirited we are. So is a Spirited life an Erotic Life? … As you share this morning I see you finding purposefulness in your own transformation. Gary: Thanks for the reflection. We, you and I, have such patterns of “doing, doing, doing.” I miss the transformation that is actually involved in just being present to my melancholy. Pat: What is the movement of our heart energy in your melancholy? Perhaps a drop of compassion would be in order. It seems you are tending your melancholy, as Sage and Anthony would say, working with what limits us. Gary: Seems like in my disharmonies I was getting away from my acornness and again trying to be an oak!

After this I went to the gym and, as usual, took in one of my audio recordings of a Pathwork lecture. Before the week was out I had marinated in two lectures – Pathowork Lecture 17 – The Call – Daily Review, and 18 – Free Will. This led to entering two quotes in the Pathwork Quote section of my website, and also a kind of “download” of something that may work for Pat’s and my Pathwork class next Friday.  I realized how supported I feel by this Pathwork material. Yes, I deeply love the Pathwork Lectures.

Here are the quotes and the class preparation…

1) Humility As A Love Language … This quote from Pathwork Lecture 17 The Call – Daily Review, suggests that one of our greatest sources of happiness is to give love. The lecture invites us to pray for the capacity to open our hearts to let out the love that is already there and goes on to describe one of the most powerful languages of love as that of humility. The lecture warns, however, that a false humility is as limiting to love as arrogance. (open)

2) Where’s The Joy? – Isn’t Joy supposed to be the “beef” of life? So where is this “beef”?  We’ll explore this as each of us contemplates his or her own joy, or lack thereof, and see how Pathwork Lecture 17 The Call – Daily Review helps us find the joy. – readings prepared for Pat’s and my Pathwork class on July 12 (Open)

3) God’s “Punishment”? Hard Times, Free Will and the Beautiful Plan of Salvation… This quote from Pathwork Lecture 18 Free Will, covers the Pathwork metaphysics related to many religious doctrines and puts them in perspective of a loving God’s beautiful Plan of Salvation. This is a good summary of Pathwork! (open) 

All three of these and more from these two Pathwork Lectures supported me this week.  I feel grateful.

Shared in Love, Gary