A Jesus Christ Series Part 2
Helper Session with Moira Shaw – July 11, 2013 (Excerpts)
Gary: (My Presenting Issue) I’m digging into the reality of my terror regarding connecting up more intimately, authentically, and genuinely with people in general, and in particular my resistance to connecting with Jesus Christ in a real way, my resistance to having an intimate, authentic, and genuine relationship with Jesus Christ as my “greatest friend and strongest helper” (Pathwork Lecture 19 Jesus Christ – ¶19). And seeing how I do not want to be healed from this “attachment avoidance disorder”! There is an insistence on MY WAY, a strong negative intentionality to stay separate.
Moira: I’ll give you my best, Gary, to heal your separation from yourself. If Christ is God, and you are God, your resistance to God, your resistance to Jesus Christ, is really resistance to you, resistance to your Divine Essence within. I will support your willingness to know that you have immediately available to you your God-Self. That’s a shock to most people, a shock to know that one’s Divine Essence is an immediate reality.
And we are ashamed to know ourselves, to make that connection to the God in us. We have that strange shame (Pathwork Lecture 152 – Connection Between the Ego and the Universal Power — ¶13) because the God in us is total power like God. So wherever there is a resistance to God, or to Christ, it’s resistance to your own Universal Power. The immediate existential reality of that Power – it seems so naked and so shameful, but that’s what you have to meet. You, as a merely and utterly human being, meet with this Universal Power that is You. …
So you are on your way, and profound changes are happening with you, and in you, and outside around you in your relationships. Yes, profound changes are happening. And you are meeting yourself, you are meeting God, meeting Christ, meeting Gary.
Gary: May I take that in! May I just simply take that in. It is so hard. Moira: Yes. Gary: Wow! I feel like the Apostle Paul (Saul) being struck down on his way to Damascus, “Saul! Saul! Why are you persecuting me? It is hurting you to keep on kicking against the cattle prods.” (Acts 26:14). Moira: Ultimately in fighting against God, or Christ, you are fighting against yourself, for the Kingdom of God is within you. Everything is within. So if we took it one step further, Jesus would be saying to Saul/Paul, “Why are you fighting against yourself? You are God! I’m showing you the way to God, I’m just a way-shower, but you are the God, Paul, that you are meeting. Why are you resisting? Jesus is like a guru, leading us to God.
Moira: I love Lecture 152 where the Guide says that because we are afraid of this Universal Power within, afraid of the God that we are, we compromise with both the yearning for that Universal Power and the fear of that Universal Power by placing God outside ourselves in formalized religion. But placing God outsider of ourselves is a compromise so that we can still have the yearning for that Universal Power on the one hand but also on the other hand have our fear of making this Universal Power our own. That’s why God is outside and Christ is outside, and everything is everything, so of course to us in our illusions it’s all outside; however, in truth God is primarily inside, and that is what we are afraid of. So why are you resisting the Gary you are? Forget that you are resisting Jesus, or resisting God, you are resisting Gary, the unique God-Man that you are.
Because the Power of your God-Man Essence, the here and now existential time and space power of it, is threatening. Gary: Threatening to my ego, which would want to stay separate. Moira: Yes. And threatening to what’s possible to create, to your sense of reality on the earth plane, because of what it is possible for you to create as the God-Man that you are; AND, then threatening because of what you have the responsibility to create when you come to know the God-Man that you are.
So it is not only
1) your ego that fears it is going to dissolve, but it is also your
2) fear against knowing what I could create and am not creating,
3) fear against knowing that, as the God-Man Gary, I have a responsibility to create!
4) I do not want to know about creating as my responsibility on the earth plane!
5) I do not want to know how I am holding back from the manifestation of this creation potential in me.
So instead of owning my God nature I back off and say, “I’m not really God.” And I make God outside of me.
Gary: And in Pathwork Lecture 18 Free Will that leads into Lecture 19 Jesus Christ there is a section that deals with need for exercising more will, not less will (Open quote from Lecture 18), but a will that emanates from your Higher Self, your God-Self. The will to take on the responsibility for manifesting what is possible from your God-Self.
Gary: This Lecture 18 states that the problem you face is your weak will, not your lower self’s self will, your weak will’s refusal to take on what I’ve Called you to do, it’s your weak will to be the God that God enabled and empowered you to be. The lecture made a distinction between a will governed by the ego (Lower Self Self-Will) that wants to be separate and, to cope with its illusory separateness, wants to be special and powerful and autonomous from a will governed by Source, by the Universal Self, by the God that you are. And when I apply these words to me, I see that by not exercising that will to be the God-Man that I am, by not accomplishing the very purpose for which I came to this planet I am not answering my Call. It really struck me when I listened to this Pathwork Lecture 18 a few days ago. Moira: Yes, following the will of the Big G Gary not the little g gary. You have to give in to your spiritual self’s will.
Gary: And this is a challenge for me in leadership because I don’t really come forth with the Big G Gary, but rather I back off an use the much weaker and distorted little g gary — leading to all kinds of issues related to pride and fear. Moira: How could you come forth with the Big G Gary if you haven’t made a 100% commitment? The commitment means a decision, “I’m going to do this!” I’m going to be 100% committed. I’m not there yet, but that is my intention, my path to perfection. I’m going to be, and I am, 100% committed to my God-Self, my ME, to Gary. Big G Gary’s will and God’s will are one. This way you can have it both ways. It’s not the little g gary’s self’s that you are following with all of its pride and fear, but rather it’s the Big G Gary’s will that you are following, trusting the Source that you are.
Moira: And that’s a good thing. You don’t have to give up Gary’s will at all, you just have to move into your own Center, your own Essence, you need to be coming from your Center rather than your head. Gary: Coming from my alignment to … Moira: (interrupting) to YOU, your alignment to Big G Gary. Gary: Which, according to Lecture 18, is in my solar plexus region and not as much in my head. My alignment with my Big G Gary is alignment with my heart, the energy and consciousness residing in my solar plexus, seeing that in this region of my body is where I am really connected to my God-Self – in my solar plexus, and that is where the direction comes from that can be trusted.
Moira: Yes, because you are an avatar (later I looked avatar up: Hindu Mythology: the descent of a deity to the earth in an incarnate form or some manifest shape; the incarnation of a god.) – a Divine descendant. We all are avatars, but there are major avatars who really know who they are and why they are here. But we are all divine descendants. And you are returning to that divinity when you say, “I am going to follow the will of Gary, the avatar, the God-Man.”
Moira: You see you don’t put the will of God outside of yourself. No, the will of God is the will of Gary, the true will of Gary. When you realize this then you don’t have anything to rebel against except yourself. Then you are not rebelling against Christ or against God. When you make the will of God outside of yourself, then of course you will say, “Well I don’t want to hear the will of God.” No, the will of God is the will of YOU, the will of your Spiritual Self.
Moira: This is tricky. We make the will of God outside of ourselves into an external authority. Gary: We make God an external authority and give up the internal authority that God is. Moira: Gary, even here when you speak of God as an internal authority there is a tricky nuance to guard against – when we say God is an internal authority, we must realize that this internal authority is not separate from Gary. This internal God authority IS Gary, it is Gary’s Spiritual Self within, Gary’s true Essential Nature or Essence. God and Gary are not two different authorities but the same authority.
Moira: This Gary authority within has a particularly unique evolutionary task. That’s what you are giving into, your Spiritual Self, your Spiritual Essence. Gary: My Spiritual Essence has this evolutionary task? Moira: That’s right, as a personality, aside from the Universal Personality that you have, in this body you have a personality that has followed you from the beginning since the Fall. So you have a personality, and that is what you are giving into, this Spiritual Personality that has always been uniquely you. It’s like, “What is this Gary?” It’s nobody else, it is just Gary. Giving into this Gary could be the simplest, most grand experience, but remember that giving into what is uniquely You is following the Will, the Divine Will of God. Gary: It’s answering the Call. Moira: That’s right. Gary: and Pathwork Lecture 17 The Call – Daily Review (¶13) says you can do that within your four walls, you do not need to have to do it on some grand scale. Moira: That’s right.
Gary: And yet you don’t have to hold back some grand scale either! Moira: Right, because you just want to be your total personality, whatever that means. It could be the most humble experience, and in most cases it actually is. It is the dignity in humility. The humility to know that you want to connect to Gary, the God-Man. And instead of struggling, the humility to recognize the two feelings: the yearning to manifest and answer the Call of the God-Self Gary, and the fear to manifest and answer the Call of the God-Self Gary. You need to be humble for this.
…. Then later in the session…
Example: Battling against Battling against Jesus Christ
Gary: In this morning’s Council meeting I shared how I was really working the Jesus Christ issue in my life, and that I’m still so aware of how I battle against having a relationship with Jesus Christ, how I’m really looking for assistance and yet at the same time just being with that push-away-Christ energy in my life. Moira: So in other words, it’s not so much the issue of battling against your relationship with Jesus Christ, rather it’s battling against your battling against your relationship with Jesus Christ.
Moira: Everything on the earth plane is a struggle, but the problem is the struggle against the struggle. And the battling of your battle against Jesus Christ comes from Pride, which says, “I should already be there, my relationship with Jesus Christ should be whole — I should not be battling.” So it is not the issue per se, but it’s the resistances to the issue, which really is what the Pathwork is about. As soon as you stop resisting the resisting and become human and say, “I’m resisting Jesus Christ,” or I could be resisting my job, or my relationship, or whatever. And as soon as I say, “I accept my resistance, I accept that I’m human, and this is the name of the game of life, that we do not have 100% of anything but rather are in 50-50: happiness AND unhappiness. So isn’t that really what the philosophy of the Pathwork is? Stop battling the battles. As soon as you do, even maybe the battle goes away, the actual thing we are battling goes away. It becomes, “Sure, OK, today I’m fighting Jesus Christ, tomorrow I’ll be fighting the weather!” As soon as I stop fighting against the battle, there is no battle. Battling turns out to be just the limitation of the earth plane.
Moira: I think we in the Pathwork for years thought the battle was with the issue instead of the battle with the battle, resisting the resistance rather than being with and humbly accepting the resistance as part of our humanity. We see and issue, a problem, and then try to get over the problem or resist the problem instead of saying, “No, I surrender to the resistance, I surrender to the battle, I surrender to the struggle.” Like the gospel song, “Jesus, hung his head and died, and never said a mumbling word.” He didn’t resist.
Shared in love, Gary