March 30th, 2011
The Pathwork Lecture I was recording was #4 titled Life Weariness. I had to smile at that, for "life weariness" was what I was feeling. But on a deeper level I noticed that I was simply drawn to these Pathwork lectures, perhaps like an artist is drawn to painting, or a musician to composing music or playing an instrument. read more »
March 26th, 2011
In recent months I have come to see the longing I have for connection. It has been, I see, a core theme of my entire life. ... its strongest pull is in my relationship with women. read more »
March 25th, 2011
I smiled at myself, nearly laughed out loud. But the smile and inner laughter covered lots of pain. The experience took me back to one of my socialization experiences in ninth grade. read more »
March 6th, 2011
Our Sunday morning coffee time ran over two hours, beginning with our iPhone experiences the night before and leading into some pretty deep places from this innocuous beginning. read more »
March 5th, 2011
Why do I wrestle so with relating to God or Jesus Christ? What images do I hold about God and Jesus Christ that stand in the way of relating to them in any way that could be called love? read more »
Not Much Troubles Me. Should That Trouble Me? - A sudden sense of having wasted my entire life surfaces. Do I leave the planet any better than I found it? Was that even important? Does any single life really matter in the end? An existential purposelessness sets in. read more »
Pathwork and Healing My Attachment Avoidance Disorder - I am reminded of the Pathwork teachings on bypassing. – trying to experience “pleasure supreme” by going around rather than through my attachment avoidance defenses, negativities, and, above all, rather than truly healing my negative intentionality through a process of purification and transformation. read more »
Welcome To This World My Child... - ... I had no such connection that I could remember in my entire life. Could this be true? It seemed like bonding 101, yet I could not say that this had been a felt experience for me. read more »
I Don't Like People. Is That OK? Is That Really True? - “So, Gary, is that OK with you that you do not like people?” My immediate answer of course was, “Absolutely not! It is not OK to not like people.” “Not liking people” violated core “shoulds” in my Idealized Self Image. read more »
Wrestling Against and Longing For Union - Through my first five decades of life I was very immature in the matters of love and Union, and in the end this immaturity and what it led to – in both my marriage and my divorce – was so devastating to my wife and to my own soul. read more »
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