Archive for January 2014

The man who has sincerely accepted a religious scheme in which all the major problems of life are provided with solutions is likely to go through life without ever experiencing the direct impact of those problems.

Gary: I notice I sense no upside to connection. Pat: Let’s pause here. This is a huge insight!

We began our coffee time by acknowledging the possibility that neither of us values, truly values, our own sexuality. What!

I do not understand why I do not experience more loss, or why I do not grieve these major “losses” in my life. I did not even fully grieve my parents after their sudden death in 1972 when I was turning 30. Something feels off here, not fully human.

… seeing my cruelty, my strong self-will, my demanding narrow view of connection emphasizing sex, my “killer energy” toward you, and other negative traits in me was indeed sobering.

I realized that without Sage and Anthony present to Pat and me in these challenging and sensitive areas of our relationship I feel alone with Pat, and the image came up in me of being alone with Pat in a lion’s cage – Pat being the lion.

Writing for my Writing Group 1/18/14…So Moments Worth Remembering is the topic for our January 18th Writing group. As soon as the topic was assigned last month I started keeping track of such times.

Gary: Let’s pick up from where we left off yesterday. Pat: Yes. I said I wanted more of your Life Force present in our relationship and you spoke of the fear that comes up in you at the mere thought of bringing your Life Force, with all of its spontaneous creativity and energy, into our relationship.

The past two years made possible by my chemo have been very rich and fulfilling, years I would have missed without this chemo treatment. And the next few years seem to hold even more richness.

As I read this excerpt I could feel the chains fall away from my spiritual journey and freedom emerge. I could feel myself free to be me, free to experience life as it arises.