Archive for July 2013

How can I deal better with my fear in manifesting what I feel Called to do?

my resistance to connecting with Jesus Christ in a real way, my resistance to having an intimate, authentic, and genuine relationship with Jesus Christ as my “greatest friend and strongest helper”

…my inquiry and seeking would lead me to similar realities regarding Jesus Christ. I hold this out as a possibility for me. I would say it is my positive intention to experience such a relationship, but I am equally aware of my negative intention pushing away the Light of Christ. And here I stand.

“So Gary, you’ve been deeply into Pathwork as your spiritual path for 13 years. I want to cut to the chase. Tell me, on a scale from 0 to 10, 10 being “blissed out,” how happy were you when you came to Pathwork and then how happy are you today? …”

I feel shame for not being present to you or to US. Then I start feeling trapped. Suddenly I am not free to be me, right where I am. If I’m honest I have to admit to myself and to you that I start resenting you. I get all caught up in these reactions and feelings – a huge disharmony inside – feeling constrained, shut down at the level of my Essence.

As I step down from leadership at Sevenoaks I still feel responsibility to support the people who stay in key responsibilities through this transition. The next two months will be challenging, …

In recent mornings I have been aware of anxiety in me, even a mild depression. So it is not surprising that in reading an article by Daniel Smith, Nothing to Do but Embrace the Dread (here embracing his dread of his persistent anxiety) in yesterday’s edition of the New York Times, I could not help but think of my experiences and how Pathwork supports me.

… I learned a bunch – about the Lecture we were sharing (Pathwork Lecture 17: The Call – Daily Review), about Pathwork in general, and about facilitating of groups.

As usual, this week my daily review has revealed many disharmonies in my life, granting me a window on my Soul’s Journey and leading to self-knowledge…

I realize that I am often not aware of what is motivating me in my many facets of life, yet I seem so involved in the seeking process – seeking without even knowing that I am seeking it seems.