Archive for July 2012

This morning in my meditation I went back to the beginning of my emotional development, since emotional connection is what Pat and I say we are looking for. Why am I so disconnected emotionally?

But I could also feel my fear of showing up. Do I not trust the cosmos, my higher self, or my passion for the Pathwork lectures? Or perhaps I fear resistance from the Pathwork helper community.

I am helped by the Pathwork Lectures’ constant emphasis on finding and trusting inner wisdom, the Heart Wisdom, the Divine Essence at the core of each of us.

This morning Pat and I tackled the sensitive area of early times in our relationship. Beneath our attraction to each other there were times of resistance and often times of deep pain, fear, and disappointment.

How will our intimacy and spontaneity deepen? I feel so much has been shaken up in me. We do not want to fall back into old patterns – we want to stay open and let things reconfigure on their own, without forcing currents – entering the Mystery and the Unknown.

A fragile moment between Pat and me occurred on Thursday morning (July 12) while on the back deck at Beth’s home in Vermont. The modeling we practiced and experienced with Sage and Anthony the previous weekend made this possible – though still a bit risky.

“Your Tribe might not only include swans. There would likely be some water snakes with you on that lake!” We all laughed, but we got her point.

I could see that my finding myself in leadership in so many organizations may, in part, be my way of establishing my identity in society – and in a way that was apart from my true self.

I also notice that I have some distortions regarding my Tribe. Who is in my Tribe?

Per the theme of our intensive, we are open to the possibility of something beyond our experiences of connecting to date.