August 31st, 2010 by gary.vollbracht
Things at Sevenoaks Pathwork Center can feel chaotic at times, and I am a guy who likes order, some degree of stability, context, and overarching strategic frameworks to guide what we do. So when last night in a conversation with another leader he had an idea that would complicate my life and take time in my already-too-full schedule, I felt an “Oh shit” arise in me. I didn’t really get his idea and wasn’t sure it was a good one at that. Putting on my “nice” face, however, I said I would discuss it with another leader and would meditate about it. Both points being true, but not very heart-felt. I’m sure my co-leader felt my ambivalence and state of untruth in my response. As I retired for the evening I was in a state of disharmony about this brief exchange.
At 5:00AM I awoke with at start. Information was pouring in as if sent by God or some Other or perhaps from God within, the Source matters not. The words were clear: ”Gary, I need you to be open. Do not be fixated to your own ideas. Yes, be faithful to your own truth, but also to the truths of others. You are not in charge. I am.”
Then I was reminded that I had been working with Pathwork Lecture 257 that includes a pristine section on Communications. Somehow that seemed to fit the exchange my co-leader and I had last night.
The Source continued, “You shall be in pain in this leadership job you are in to the degree you are wedded to your own ideas, frameworks, and structures. Roll with the flow of ALL ideas. Seek the Truth, the Truth in each moment, rather than inwardly defending your own static sense of truth. And remember, people are NOT fragile. They can handle The Truth just fine. You do not have to take care of them. Rather, through your flexibility in hearing and integrating their views of Truth with your own you empower them — and yourself.” Wasn’t sure what the words about people not being fragile meant, but I got the rest.
All I can say in response is, “Thanks, God, I needed that!” And as I sit with and integrate this message I can feel tightness in my body relax. I now enter the day with renewed energy and enthusiasm for the work at Sevenoaks, even when it sometimes feels so chaotic. And looking at my calendar, today there will be some chaotic pieces to it I suspect.
In another lecture I am reading, Pathwork Lecture 205 Order as a Universal Principle, I can see that in backing way off, what up close feels chaotic from a distance feels entirely orderly. The goal, according to this lecture, is Presence and Awareness. From deep awareness all is in divine order. Let me take this in.
All good stuff for my day. I am feeling thankful.