May 29th, 2009
For several days I have been wrestling with organizing activities for the Sevenoaks Helper Community, some 28 of us. As with any group, there are lots of challenges. And I have my patterns of pushing my ideas or collapsing into despair when my ideas are not accepted. read more »
May 22nd, 2009
The past few days I have been anxious and nervous. Pat was shocked! To her I seem focused and clear in my life. read more »
May 19th, 2009
As a young lad I trusted the justice of Life. Be a good, performing, obedient boy, good things happen. Be a bad boy, God or Life or Dad or the teacher or Society would punish. It was a kind of reward/punish sense of life. It was comfortable. I got the rules. They seemed to work. read more »
May 13th, 2009
The phrase, “Personal relationship with Jesus Christ,” has always been a phrase I have struggled with. ... read more »
May 9th, 2009
In meditation and conversations with Pat this morning I could see a pattern in me of going through the motions of being on an intense spiritual path, Pathwork in my case, purportedly to reach greater consciousness and fulfillment in living but perhaps not really having any intention of waking up and experiencing greater consciousness, fulfillment, and happiness. read more »
May 7th, 2009
Sitting in front of Ed, my therapist. Silence. Awareness of the ever-present tension in my belly arises. I choose to hold it tenderly. I do not judge the tension with, "If I had my act together I would have no tension; obviously I'm messed up, my anxiety proves it." I let go of the shame of not knowing. I can hold the tension. read more »
May 6th, 2009
No answers here. No answers needed. Just be in this sea of lostness. Yes, settle in, snuggle up. read more »
May 3rd, 2009
Today I see yesterday's writing as not quite complete. Intimacy alone is not enough. Or rather perhaps, intimacy must be more carefully defined. Intimacy can be mental and even involve talking about emotions without being in and feeling the emotions I am talking about. It seems that true intimacy involves connecting from the felt sense of the emotions we feel. read more »
May 2nd, 2009
I've been taking in family experiences of others these days. In a few cases I'm struck by a kind of family belonging feeling among these family members I observe. And for the first time I recognize the unfamiliarity of this family-belonging feeling in my own growing up. read more »
Uncovering the Wars Within - Pat: When my distorted harsh masculine comes up strong, that does not evoke your strong masculine energy in response. ... Gary: Yes, I withdraw when that energy comes up. I do not take you on. I do not stand my ground. Clearly this is material to work on in our relationship! read more »
Is Pathwork Worth It? Is Pathwork Working? - and then said, “Even with all your years of Pathwork you still struggle just like me. Is your Pathwork really worth it? Does it work?” read more »
Welcoming Anxiety and Discomfort - “I may be good at this, but I am uncomfortable holding all this. I’d rather do something else that wasn’t uncomfortable. I want Joy and Pleasure Supreme, not the uncomfortableness of this ambiguity intensified by a sense of urgency.” read more »
A Pathwork Steps Teleconference Experience - So the issue that came up to look at was, “With all the effort I put into Pathwork stuff, why am I not happier or more fulfilled than I am?” read more »
Fun and Joy at Playing the Puzzle Called Life - So this is my experience in working with the puzzle that is my Life – the experience of Joy! read more »
Use the following link to subscribe to my blog using your favorite RSS reader.
Subscribe